Don't drink the crewlade

This post is dedicated to my one and only, Kate M., who is the only living, breathing being who shares my utter obsessive love of the Crew. No, not 2 Live, numb you-know-whats, J Crew (ah, yeah, if you didn't know that, you needn't read any further or ya'll just think me even more crazy).

This is strictly a hijacked post, too, from J Crew Aficionado, who writes:

GigiofCa (check out her great blog: Gigi's Gone Shopping) has one of *the best* J.Crew posts I have seen. What is it about? J.Crew-centric vocabulary.

The following is a portion of the words she has listed over at her blog (click here to read the "Crewlang - The Vocab List" post in its entirety):

B&M –brick & mortar store as opposed to online.

Crewazy –Pretty much self explanatory but we’ll use it in a sentence: “Me no likey at all...the price is crewazy!!!!!”

Crewfit –Should be clear, but here is a sentence: "What's your crewfit today?"

Crewlade –This may be the most serious of them all. The mixer of vaporous crewlade batches is unknown. Is it the marketing & graphic design departments of J Crew? PR? Is it…is it…us? --*gasp* -- the bloggers and blog visitors who incessantly discuss the merch to the point of memorization? FYI, inhalers rarely have control over this stuff. Do your best not to hit it too hard. It's dangerous! You usually don't come down until you get back home or the credit card bill arrives.

"I had to do some returns the other day, and just kept whispering my breath, as I stared lustfully at the Chandelier Necklace, "Don't drink the Crewlade! Don't drink the Crewlade!"

Note: Crewlade causes a temporary high, lapse in judgment and creates a kaleidoscope effect where 95% of the J Crew merchandise looks good. When under the influence it all looks good on you. Yes you need that atomic necklace. Isn’t it pretty? Can’t you see it with the glazed pecan card? Ooooohh yeaaahhh and hey…it’s on sale!

Crewless –When you know more about the item than the SA.

Crewmorse –A feeling you have after regretting a purchase.

Crewpon –You reach into your mailbox. It’s not a flyer. It's not a bill. It's a beautiful little envelope from J Crew containing a discount coupon card. Known to cause haterade (see below) in those that don’t receive these rare, random goodies. The April 2009 25% crewpon was also known as the Mickey card.

Crewsade –When you have to make a serious effort to search for a specific J Crew item, often further galvanized by a crew-less SA or two.

Crewsewear –When you use an upcoming vacation as justification for spending way too much money at J Crew.

Crewsin –This can be a legitimately planned trip, a visit to make an exchange (yeah, right) or a drive by (you have no business being there). "I went crewsin through my local jcrew."

Uncrewsual punishment –When an item you have been stalking online suddenly sells out and you get the dreaded red message!

Faux Rent –When you love an item, but don’t necessarily want to own it. Or at least figure you won’t wear it enough to warrant a purchase. The alternative is to visit it in b&m while it’s in stock.

JCA1 –What did you do today?
JCA2 –Oh, I stopped by J.Crew to see the gallery hobo. It’s still faux rent at Westfield Centre.

FS –Final Sale. J.Crew is one of the few retailers still torturing customers with this practice.
JCA –J.Crew Aficionada, visit Alexis's blog here.

J’Crewlet (Jhay-croo-lay) –J.Crew Factory Store. Sounds suuuper fancy, like Tarjay. We all know the merch is hit or miss. Boo.

Popback –Items on J Crew’s website that randomly show up in the sale section. You thought you missed out, but LOOK! There’s your size. Right now. Good luck. (*snickers*) Now...let’s use it in a sentence. At least that's a sure thing.

JCA1 –*gasps* How did you find a golden roses jacket?
JCA2 –Girl, it was a popback. I am so lucky! Hope it ships!

Ride along –Wikipedia: "an arrangement for a civilian to spend a shift in the passenger seat of a police car, observing the work day of a police officer." Same idea, revised for retail --> An arrangement for a questionable item to spend time in the shipping box of an online order, in order to qualify for an online promo. The purchaser is most certain that she is likely return this item, only to find – upon receipt – that it is one of the best in the box. Surprise!

In keeping with the theme of JOY

Here are two things that made me smile. One, an idea, and another, an image. They're beeeee-u-ti-ful!


Every day for 100 days, Rachel Berger chose a color swatch at random from a bag, and wrote a short piece (like a prose haiku) inspired by it. I love how it exposes all the random connections that color and language form in our tangled brains.





Purely and simply, queenalicious.

The Doghouse

I love this. And if you think it's sexist, you need to darn well lighten up.



The idea behind this last year was that men who gave their wives lame holiday gifts, such as vacuum cleaners, were dropped down a rabbit hole called the doghouse to be judged by a jury of scathing, scorned wives. The campaign racked up millions of views in its quest to promote JC Penney's jewelry department -- jewelry, of course, being the ticket out of the doghouse.

This year, it's "Return of the Doghouse" (above). JC Penney again tapped with Saatchi & Saatchi for the video creative, which is blessedly down from four minutes and 45 seconds to two minutes and 55 seconds, and North Kingdom for the website, where, per a JC Penney statement, visitors can "build a case against their bad gift giver filled with written statements and imported photos, videos and witness testimony as evidence of the bad gift-giving. Each case file will be compiled into a trial movie and given its own web address, allowing users to share (can be e-mailed or posted to MySpace and Facebook) the link with friends." Razorfish handled online media buying and planning. (From Ad Age)

Oprah's..oops, I mean CHRISTINE's Favorite Things

Really 'doh. Here they be. Gift 'em, give em', buy 'em for yourself. All worthy of a shout out:

1. "Thank You" note cards (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34192506). Could you honestly say it any better than this? No.


2. Leggings
For Rainbow Bright-like saturation: http://www.welovecolours.com/
For opaque-y's (and if you want to burn the bank...those cashmere puppies from Donna Karan puppies cost a mere $495): http://www.saks.com/
And if you crazy (ahem, Tara Keleher...think leather-like leggings, etc.), check out http://www.americanapparel.com/



3. Old school sweats...everyday
While some may categorize this look (bottom photo), worn by Chloe's designer Hannah MacGibbon, as, simply, one haute mess, check out http://www.jcrew.com/ for the best vintage-y feeling sweats (top photo). I have these and they're rant-worthy. And no, you don't have to wear them like dear ol' Hannah does.


4. Flat boots with opaque mid-thigh socks (love!)
J Crew makes the best knee-highs and Hot Sox and http://www.sockdreams.com/ make fabu over-the-knee-ers:


5. Anything monogrammed or personalized
I mean, come on. You should know me by now. At least I didn't make this number one. And, instead of the predictable monogrammed polo (groan, yes, I know you are), when you come to my house and need to light up your...well, whatever...you can leave with these fantastical matches from http://www.foryourparty.com/. (No, I don't live at 6 Rue Ponteves. Sigh, dream):

But who's the grinch?

Everytime I watch this, I smile. But I always wonder: who's the crank who doesn't play nice in the sandbox with the rest of the kiddies?

Does anyone else think this is wrong?

Because we can all be a tool, er, NEED a tool sometimes...

These super handy cheat sheets can be a lifesaver when you're in a hurry or just need sometime to help you get life reorganized: http://www.mommytracked.com/downloads

As they say, the line between order and chaos in a mum's world is an increasingly fine one.

Help is on the way, sista.

"Like bamboo or sunlight, it will never run out."

Okay, I have found my absolute soulmate via another blogger and a new time consuming obsession. The Aesthetics of Joy (http://aestheticsofjoy.com/) "explores the intersection between design and positive emotion", two things I of course l-o-v-e. As Ingrid Fetell puts it, it is about tapping into this renewable resource of emotion to seek out and design objects and experiences that are emotionally sustainable: pleasurable not just on the first encounter, but for the long term. By identifying the elements—aesthetic, sensory, and cognitive—that trigger joy, the author's goal is to suggest a way for design to foster a healthier culture of consumption, based on relationships between people and objects that are meaningful and rewarding.

This is what else she has to say about "joy" (um, can you say YES!):

Joy is a very particular emotion. It’s not just happiness, which is too vague and encompassing a positive feeling. It’s not contentment, with its snug, muted warmth, but it’s also not spine-tingling ecstasy, nor is it the zen-like feeling we call bliss. Joy inhabits that ineluctable space between wonder and pleasure, neighboring delight, but somehow more profound. Joy is momentary, but not temporary. Surprising, but not necessarily in a spectacular way. It is personal but at the same time universal, an essential emotion that renews and uplifts the human psyche.

Joy’s defining feature is that it is renewable. The first day of spring is always joyful. So is Christmastime. So is blowing bubbles or hearing your favorite song or flying above the clouds. Joy is the renewable resource of positive emotions. Like bamboo or sunlight, it will never run out.

There you go. Oh happy day.

Walken love

For the love of one Gaga, I simply had to post this homage to the queen of fantabulousness:

Think...before you speak

photographer went to a socialite party in New York. As he entered the front door, the host said ‘I love your pictures - they’re wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera.’ He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: ‘That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove.’
— Sam Haskins (via simko) (via rachellehruska)

How bang on is this? How many times has someone said something to you, meaning it to be a compliment, and it is so completely and utterly an insult that you can't even imagine how they thought they were being nice! My personal favorite is "WOW! You've lost so much weight!" I mean, was I a huge, fat cow before? And, since I haven't shed any of that extra padding you reference, am I still a big fat cow, just in a more slimming outfit than last time I saw you? I mean, come on, people.

Here's the rule of thumb, ok? Don't say it if there is ANY chance it could me misconstrued. Capiche?

PS - Dad, as much as I love you....you are the guiltiest of all. "What did you do with your hair?" can be rephrased a wee bit better.